Dont Forget your First Friend.
What if you lost the best friend you have ever had. What if that idea was a present reality in your life, a possibility that could occur? I have come to a realization. I know of myself, I know who I am, but I have lost my relationship with myself. And my biggest fear is losing the only other significant relationship I have in my life. My best friend.
As I sat in the car with her and we talked about the changes that have occurred in her life over the past couple months, My mind was analyzing the possible effects that change would have on me, and one of those effects may be that I lose her as my friend. My soul had been heavy on that regard. There I sat, and I had an anxiety attack over the mere thought of losing her.
My relationship with myself has been empty for a while. My life story is self fulfillment by fulfilling others expectation and facilitating them. My time is spent, working on a client’s project, chatting or chilling with my friends, in church, at school, or alone and lonely.
When I found a friend that I could be myself around, talk to, and ultimately discover myself around, by the very nature of our relationship, I was elated. I loved her for who she was, a strong cultured, educated, sensible and well rounded individual who could hold her own in a conversation and didn’t mind being around me. She was beautiful. She for the most part knew what she wanted out of life. But she changed.
Since we’ve been back, we’ve hung out, went to the movies, been hiking, just chilled. We’ve crossed rivers on felled trees. Nothing in our relationship has changed. We are still cool, but we’re no longer chapters in the same book. She said herself she’s in a “completely different book.” How do I handle that?
When I got home after sitting in that car, listening to her tell me of the changes in her life, I Prayed, asked God to reveal his opinion of me. As I was searching for the story of David and Jonathan, he hit me with this scripture.
Micah 7:5,7 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.
As I was pondering over that, and talking to another of my friends, they got me to an interesting scripture.
First Peter 2:9 – But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:
That’s when it hit me. I was relying more on my friends than on God. I was calling them for advice, telling them my problems instead of God and God was calling me to step back and remember who I am and to whom I belong. As a chosen generation, I must choose him first. As royalty, I must bow to his Kingship first. As a Priest, I must worship and offer myself as a sacrifice to Him first, as a holy person, i must emulate him first, as a citizen of his nation, i must pledge allegiance to him first, as a peculiar people, I must be different from unrighteousness first, and in all things I must “seek first the kingdom of God and ALL his righteousness.
Yes, I would miss her if she’s gone, but I wont die. It will hurt but I must remember, Jesus said, he would not leave me comfort less. I should not be afraid of losing her, though I wish and hope she won’t, because God still was the first friend I ever had. He alone welcomed me with outstretched hands as I came to the foot of the cross. And even “when father and mother forsake [me] he will lift [me] up.”
So God showed me that my alliance is to him first for all my needs. That I am his and what that means, and that he has my back (when I’m in His will because he doesn’t back sin) so just let him be your first best friend instead of leaving him out of your circle of friends. Talk to him like you talk to your friends. Chill with him like u chill with your friends. As his friendship becomes stronger with you every other friendship will improve as well. Just be his friend and all the rest will work out even better.
Also, the way I panicked about losing my best friend, is the way we should feel about leaving God, walking away from his plan, forgetting his purpose, leaving his will, walking away from him. He promised not to leave you, but you can leave him. I would do anything for her to continue as my friend and we should be the same way about our friendship with God.
Oh, and one more thing. If he’s your first friend, he should set the standard for the rest, act accordingly.
